Funerals (and Weddings)

One thing I've had plenty of time to do over the past few months has been to attend funerals. [I realize that the previous sentence is grammatically awkward, but I can't figure out how to revise it so that I can keep the subject at the end and still make it sound right.] I've been to two funerals in the past month or so. Even though it's been only two so far, I already feel like I'm on the funeral circuit. At the very least, I hear that "these things come in threes," so I've been steeling myself for another funeral sometime in the near future. So far, the deceased have been distant relatives. A great-great-uncle several weeks ago, and a great-aunt today. But I've got plenty of old relatives, some closer relations than others, so I wouldn't be surprised if I were to attend another funeral (or two) before the year (or my unemployment) is up.

I'm tempted to draw out some of the mortality issues that I've been grappling with since I've begun attending funerals. But that's a pretty staid topic. Pardon me for being morbid, but these few experiences have been more notable for the chance they have afforded me to observe people in mourning. Grief occupies an interesting corner of the human emotional spectrum. As far as I can tell, it allows people to engage in short bursts of unfettered public displays of sorrow, and to receive the unequivocal sympathy of their more distant family members and aquaintances. Am I an asshole for being so emotionally isolated from these somber events, and for treating them as anthropological exercises? Perhaps. Probably. But the way I see it, the more funerals of distant relatives that I attend now, the better prepared I'll be for the funerals that are really going to matter in my life. I can already envision myself delivering at least a couple of eulogies. In my family, I'm basically the go-to guy for any kind of speech or considered reflection (not to mention the fact that I'm the go-to guy for emotional stability. Ha! Shows what my family knows!) People in my family expect me to be stoic during the tough times, so the best I can do now is get some practical experience.

Weddings, on the other hand, I'm looking forward to. I see many weddings in my future, and I'm looking forward to each and every one of them. Between my relatives and my high school and college friends, I hope to be attending dozens of weddings over the next couple of decades. I've only been to a couple (and in recent, post-drinking age memory, I've only been to one). But my meager experience has been enough to give me a taste of how enjoyable a wedding (the anti-funeral) can be. Again, I can see myself being called upon to pontificate at a few of these future matrimonials. For the most part, I've got a much more positive outlook for these sure-to-be trite speeches. I've even begun drafting a few in my head.

If I had a job, or if I was in school, I'd have an excuse for not attending funerals. But I have no job, and thus I have no excuse. So for now, I think of each funeral I attend as a chance to make the next one easier. And all the while, I'm thinking how great it'd be if I were at a wedding.