I quit
I woke up at 11 today. I was up until 2:30 watching Celebrity Blackjack and (surprise) Next.
I did absolutely nothing yesterday. Aside from driving around town for two hours while my dad's cleaning lady was doing her thing at my house, I barely moved from the couch in the TV room. I think that fact needs to be added to the record since it got no mention in yesterday's gloomy little post. It actually took me two hours to write those three paragraphs. It's mostly the fault of the Laguna Beach finale...and whatever three shows came on after it. I disgust myself.
I've barely got the stamina to get out of bed anymore. Not that it would matter if I didn't. There's literally not a single person on the face of the planet who relies on me to do anything between the hours of 9 and 5. And there are only a handful of people (my parents, a few friends I see on the weekends) who notice my existence outside of that window. There's not a single task in the universe, vital or mundane, that depends on my doing it. The rest of the world is turning, but I'm standing (no, make that sitting) still.
The phrase that I've got on my mind this morning is "I quit." At first, I wasn't sure why I was thinking that. But now I've been chewing on it for a while, and like all good students of the English language I've looked up the precise definition(s) of the verb, and it seems to work.
As far as I can tell, the verb "to quit" has three intransitive definitions. ("Quit" is a transitive verb when it's followed by a noun or pronoun [a direct object], as in "to quit a job." Obviously, I've got nothing to quit, so the object-less intransitive definitions are what I'm after).
The first definition is a slap in the face: "to cease normal, expected or necessary action." I think Webster must have been sitting around and plotting against me when he wrote this 200 years ago. (What's it called when a person thinks that they are the center of the universe, and that natural and historical forces are conspiring to do harm to them? It's some sort of psychological disorder, I'm sure.) In any case, nothing I do is "normal," "expected" or "necessary," so that definition is out.
The second definition is more like a punch in the stomach: "to give up employment." Ha ha. Doesn't quite sound like quitting is something I'm in a position to be doing, yet, does it? Well...
The third definition is a home run. "To admit defeat: GIVE UP."
Consider it done.
I did absolutely nothing yesterday. Aside from driving around town for two hours while my dad's cleaning lady was doing her thing at my house, I barely moved from the couch in the TV room. I think that fact needs to be added to the record since it got no mention in yesterday's gloomy little post. It actually took me two hours to write those three paragraphs. It's mostly the fault of the Laguna Beach finale...and whatever three shows came on after it. I disgust myself.
I've barely got the stamina to get out of bed anymore. Not that it would matter if I didn't. There's literally not a single person on the face of the planet who relies on me to do anything between the hours of 9 and 5. And there are only a handful of people (my parents, a few friends I see on the weekends) who notice my existence outside of that window. There's not a single task in the universe, vital or mundane, that depends on my doing it. The rest of the world is turning, but I'm standing (no, make that sitting) still.
The phrase that I've got on my mind this morning is "I quit." At first, I wasn't sure why I was thinking that. But now I've been chewing on it for a while, and like all good students of the English language I've looked up the precise definition(s) of the verb, and it seems to work.
As far as I can tell, the verb "to quit" has three intransitive definitions. ("Quit" is a transitive verb when it's followed by a noun or pronoun [a direct object], as in "to quit a job." Obviously, I've got nothing to quit, so the object-less intransitive definitions are what I'm after).
The first definition is a slap in the face: "to cease normal, expected or necessary action." I think Webster must have been sitting around and plotting against me when he wrote this 200 years ago. (What's it called when a person thinks that they are the center of the universe, and that natural and historical forces are conspiring to do harm to them? It's some sort of psychological disorder, I'm sure.) In any case, nothing I do is "normal," "expected" or "necessary," so that definition is out.
The second definition is more like a punch in the stomach: "to give up employment." Ha ha. Doesn't quite sound like quitting is something I'm in a position to be doing, yet, does it? Well...
The third definition is a home run. "To admit defeat: GIVE UP."
Consider it done.
posted by temporarily unemployed at 12:17
4 Comments:
you know what i was thinking about your blog the other day...why don't you post your cv and some sort of general cover leter on here? couldn't hurt. would also give your quest a l'il more context.
~C
Mike,
I came upon your blog while facebooking. It's basically brilliant. Keep up the great work.
Thanks, Matt. Which Matt are you?
dude,
you respond to an unnamed matt, but not to me?
it stings.
~C
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