The day's accomplishments
Today I changed a flat tire. And scheduled an audition for a job with Kaplan Test Prep. Of the two accomplishments, I'd say changing the tire was much more fulfilling.
As I was pulling out of my mother's driveway last night, I noticed something strange about the way the car was driving. At first I thought the roads were icy, because it felt like I was driving on something gravelly, like hailstones or small rocks. After about 100 yards, it occurred to me that I might have a flat, so I let go of the wheel for a moment and the car immediately began to drift to the left. I pulled over, got out, and discovered the flat in front on the driver's side. I drove the car back to my mother's and borrowed her car for the evening.
My father told me I should just call AAA in the morning, rather than attempt to change it myself. Ever the rebel, I decided to go against father's wishes and do it myself. I Googled "how to change a tire" and found that the first link was a very helpful website with lots of detailed info. I took a few notes, and drove over to mom's. Once there, I was thrilled to discover that all of the tools I would need were nestled snugly under the mat in the trunk: doughnut (i.e., non-full sized spare), jack, lug wrench. The "jack location" was clearly marked under the car, and the lug wrench doubled as a handle for the jack--it was an incredibly efficient and simple procedure. All I had to do was loosen a few nuts, turn a crank, switch tires, tighten some nuts, and turn the crank again. Even an unemployed English major could (and did) do it. I drove to the tire store with my caution lights blinking, half as a safety precaution and half to draw attention to my successfully installed doughnut.
As for scheduling an audition with Kaplan, it constitutes a bit of a surrender. While it would be something to occupy my time and good money, it contradicts a lot the principles I've tried to adhere to. But look where those principles have gotten me up to this point.
I feel confident that I'll be able to land the Kaplan job. The main requirements are (1) that you're an engaging teacher and (2) that you've scored at or above the 90th percentile on the SATs (or whatever other test you'd be teaching). I think I'd make a fine and entertaining teacher. People seemed to like my Mellon Forum presentation, anyway. As for my percentiles, I went back and checked and while my Verbal score is fine (smugly: of course) my Math score was only in the 89th percentile! Eek! Either I'll have to retest (1600s no longer exist, otherwise I'd be all over it) or maybe they'll be nice and waive that last percentile point.
Working for Kaplan would give me something to do and an income while I continue to pursue the brass ring (or better yet: the Golden Snitch. Hey! I just got that!).
One final tidbit: my mother's husband's cousin sent me a few tips on job applications and interviews. One tip was that unaccounted-for time on a resume is a major red flag and should be avoided. I realized that June 2005-January 2006 (and beyond) is a big chunk of unaccounted-for time. How could I possibly justify all of this time on a resume? Then, in the shower, it hit me:
"June 2005-January 2006: Travelled extensively and devoted significant time to writing creatively, supported by grant money from Davenport College of Yale University."
Bingo! I mean, how good does that sound? And in saying that, I'll only be taking the tiniest liberties (nothing James Frey-ish). The money I got from Dport was more of a prize than a grant (I won an award for being a Davenport senior majoring in English with a demonstrated interest in music. I was one of two people who fit requirements, and we both won the award.) Also, the clause "writing creatively" refers primarily to this blog, and I could see how one could contest the assertion that this endeavor constitutes creative writing. But I do spend a lot of time doing it, so that must count for something. (Sidebar: Apparently blogging existed before the internet. Bloggers of old were called "diarists," and they wrote on paper with quills or Bic pens. You'd think that webloggers without the web would be "loggers", but that was something else e.g. Paul Bunyan).
Recap: Today I engaged in my first manual labor since I shoveled the driveway on Thanksgiving, took the first step toward selling out, and figured out a way to make 6+ months of indecision and laziness look admirable. All in a day's work.
As I was pulling out of my mother's driveway last night, I noticed something strange about the way the car was driving. At first I thought the roads were icy, because it felt like I was driving on something gravelly, like hailstones or small rocks. After about 100 yards, it occurred to me that I might have a flat, so I let go of the wheel for a moment and the car immediately began to drift to the left. I pulled over, got out, and discovered the flat in front on the driver's side. I drove the car back to my mother's and borrowed her car for the evening.
My father told me I should just call AAA in the morning, rather than attempt to change it myself. Ever the rebel, I decided to go against father's wishes and do it myself. I Googled "how to change a tire" and found that the first link was a very helpful website with lots of detailed info. I took a few notes, and drove over to mom's. Once there, I was thrilled to discover that all of the tools I would need were nestled snugly under the mat in the trunk: doughnut (i.e., non-full sized spare), jack, lug wrench. The "jack location" was clearly marked under the car, and the lug wrench doubled as a handle for the jack--it was an incredibly efficient and simple procedure. All I had to do was loosen a few nuts, turn a crank, switch tires, tighten some nuts, and turn the crank again. Even an unemployed English major could (and did) do it. I drove to the tire store with my caution lights blinking, half as a safety precaution and half to draw attention to my successfully installed doughnut.
As for scheduling an audition with Kaplan, it constitutes a bit of a surrender. While it would be something to occupy my time and good money, it contradicts a lot the principles I've tried to adhere to. But look where those principles have gotten me up to this point.
I feel confident that I'll be able to land the Kaplan job. The main requirements are (1) that you're an engaging teacher and (2) that you've scored at or above the 90th percentile on the SATs (or whatever other test you'd be teaching). I think I'd make a fine and entertaining teacher. People seemed to like my Mellon Forum presentation, anyway. As for my percentiles, I went back and checked and while my Verbal score is fine (smugly: of course) my Math score was only in the 89th percentile! Eek! Either I'll have to retest (1600s no longer exist, otherwise I'd be all over it) or maybe they'll be nice and waive that last percentile point.
Working for Kaplan would give me something to do and an income while I continue to pursue the brass ring (or better yet: the Golden Snitch. Hey! I just got that!).
One final tidbit: my mother's husband's cousin sent me a few tips on job applications and interviews. One tip was that unaccounted-for time on a resume is a major red flag and should be avoided. I realized that June 2005-January 2006 (and beyond) is a big chunk of unaccounted-for time. How could I possibly justify all of this time on a resume? Then, in the shower, it hit me:
"June 2005-January 2006: Travelled extensively and devoted significant time to writing creatively, supported by grant money from Davenport College of Yale University."
Bingo! I mean, how good does that sound? And in saying that, I'll only be taking the tiniest liberties (nothing James Frey-ish). The money I got from Dport was more of a prize than a grant (I won an award for being a Davenport senior majoring in English with a demonstrated interest in music. I was one of two people who fit requirements, and we both won the award.) Also, the clause "writing creatively" refers primarily to this blog, and I could see how one could contest the assertion that this endeavor constitutes creative writing. But I do spend a lot of time doing it, so that must count for something. (Sidebar: Apparently blogging existed before the internet. Bloggers of old were called "diarists," and they wrote on paper with quills or Bic pens. You'd think that webloggers without the web would be "loggers", but that was something else e.g. Paul Bunyan).
Recap: Today I engaged in my first manual labor since I shoveled the driveway on Thanksgiving, took the first step toward selling out, and figured out a way to make 6+ months of indecision and laziness look admirable. All in a day's work.
posted by temporarily unemployed at 13:38
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