First day on the job
Not too much to say at this point. My first five hours of work weren't all that stimulating. I filled out a W4; waited around for 45 minutes while a few people figured out how to start the computer that I was to be working on; made a few phone calls to disinterested bus charter companies; and furtively checked my email.
(Sidebar: I only had two new emails today--one moronic forward from my father [I don't have the heart to tell him to stop forwarding stupid office humor to me]; and one rather distressed email from my aunt. She was pissed about an incident that took place over the weekend. On Saturday, I went out for hibachi with her and my two young female cousins (12 and 16). At the end of the meal, after she had looked at the check, my aunt turned and said to me, "You can pay me back for this meal once you get your first paycheck." Some combination of stupidity and Sapporo caused me to say in instantaneous reply, "And you can give me gas money for all the times I pick the girls up from school." My aunt's face contorted into a mask of shock and revulsion. I think I quickly followed-up with an, "I'm just kidding," but it was like throwing a glass of water at a forest fire. I felt pretty lousy for having said what I said, because I didn't really mean it. A few minutes later, she pressed the issue, saying, "Well, I don't think you've spent $100 on gas picking the girls up from school." Again, stupidity and Sapporo said, "And I don't think I ate $100 worth of food." I looked away so as to avoid seeing her reaction. I asked myself when I had turned into such an asshole. Flash forward to today: I was half-expecting some sort of communication from her regarding the incident, but when I read it at work today it hit me pretty hard. It read, in paraphrase, "Good luck on your first day of work! Why are you an asshole...[500 words]...no really, aren't you ever appreciative of anything? Hope your first day goes well!" I spent at least an hour of my first working day arranging the pens on my desk while mentally drafting my effusively apologetic response.)
Ooh, ooh. One fun thing was setting up my voicemail. It was the kind of system where you record your name and your greeting separately for twice the fun. I used to hate the sound of my voice, but I've either gotten used to it or it has legitimately started to sound halfway decent (satisfyingly deep when I'm thinking about it, somewhat gravelly, slighly breathy, a hint of an implacable accent.) I recorded my name a half a dozen times, and the greeting more than a dozen times. It took a lot of practice runs to get it to sound unrehearsed. The fun really started when I discovered the feature that lets you listen to what you've recorded. I gave myself a good chuckle listening to a few botched versions ("Hi, you've reached Michuhlapresti, I'm regretfully blabedy blah blah"). And I definitely listened to the finished version a bunch of times. I knew it was right when I found myself thinking, "Yeah, now that's a guy that I would hang out with. He sounds tough, but kind of urbane too." Good times.
Looks like there was plenty to say after all. Funny how that happens.
Coming soon:
-An official tally of my jobless days
-A thorough analysis of the months between June 2005 and March 2006
-Workplace strife (knock on wood)
-Qpac Polling update: I may be working 40 (total) hours by next week
-Something pertaining to the world at large (Ha!)
(Sidebar: I only had two new emails today--one moronic forward from my father [I don't have the heart to tell him to stop forwarding stupid office humor to me]; and one rather distressed email from my aunt. She was pissed about an incident that took place over the weekend. On Saturday, I went out for hibachi with her and my two young female cousins (12 and 16). At the end of the meal, after she had looked at the check, my aunt turned and said to me, "You can pay me back for this meal once you get your first paycheck." Some combination of stupidity and Sapporo caused me to say in instantaneous reply, "And you can give me gas money for all the times I pick the girls up from school." My aunt's face contorted into a mask of shock and revulsion. I think I quickly followed-up with an, "I'm just kidding," but it was like throwing a glass of water at a forest fire. I felt pretty lousy for having said what I said, because I didn't really mean it. A few minutes later, she pressed the issue, saying, "Well, I don't think you've spent $100 on gas picking the girls up from school." Again, stupidity and Sapporo said, "And I don't think I ate $100 worth of food." I looked away so as to avoid seeing her reaction. I asked myself when I had turned into such an asshole. Flash forward to today: I was half-expecting some sort of communication from her regarding the incident, but when I read it at work today it hit me pretty hard. It read, in paraphrase, "Good luck on your first day of work! Why are you an asshole...[500 words]...no really, aren't you ever appreciative of anything? Hope your first day goes well!" I spent at least an hour of my first working day arranging the pens on my desk while mentally drafting my effusively apologetic response.)
Ooh, ooh. One fun thing was setting up my voicemail. It was the kind of system where you record your name and your greeting separately for twice the fun. I used to hate the sound of my voice, but I've either gotten used to it or it has legitimately started to sound halfway decent (satisfyingly deep when I'm thinking about it, somewhat gravelly, slighly breathy, a hint of an implacable accent.) I recorded my name a half a dozen times, and the greeting more than a dozen times. It took a lot of practice runs to get it to sound unrehearsed. The fun really started when I discovered the feature that lets you listen to what you've recorded. I gave myself a good chuckle listening to a few botched versions ("Hi, you've reached Michuhlapresti, I'm regretfully blabedy blah blah"). And I definitely listened to the finished version a bunch of times. I knew it was right when I found myself thinking, "Yeah, now that's a guy that I would hang out with. He sounds tough, but kind of urbane too." Good times.
Looks like there was plenty to say after all. Funny how that happens.
Coming soon:
-An official tally of my jobless days
-A thorough analysis of the months between June 2005 and March 2006
-Workplace strife (knock on wood)
-Qpac Polling update: I may be working 40 (total) hours by next week
-Something pertaining to the world at large (Ha!)
posted by temporarily unemployed at 00:44
3 Comments:
I just realized that half of this post is about me loving to hear the sound of my own voice. Kind of a metaphor for this blog, eh? (Ha! Beat you to it!)
Your aunt's comment at the end of the meal was a joke, right? Or did she actually want you to pay her back?
I have to assume that she was kidding. But her tone was pretty abrasive. Or at least that's how I took it. There must have been something in what she said that prompted my sharp reaction.
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