Every now and then I fall apart

Unemployment 2.0, Day 2

All the bright ideas I had for what to do next have fizzled out. A few weeks ago I found an ad for an associate editor job at a textbook publisher in Worcester. I told myself I'd apply this week. Today I discovered that the ad has expired. Last week I saw a posting for a residential counselor job in Amherst for the summer. I thought I'd apply to that one today; it's gone. I spent an hour or so scouring websites for all the local Catholic schools, and there wasn't a hint on any of them that they were looking to hire any teachers. Even if I still wanted to apply to AmeriCorps, by now it's too late to start anything that will end before September 2007 (i.e., when I'm supposedly going back to school).

I also spent a fair chunk of time today gathering data on law school admissions. It's not easy to make sense of all the info that's out there, but it's beginning to look a lot like I won't be able to get into any of the schools that I want to go to, even if I have a really good day on Monday. The school I keep thinking about is Michigan. I can't quite say why--it's big, it's far from home, it's got good sports, it's got a good reputation. It seems like it'd be a fun place to do. But I don't think I'll have the numbers.

It's been a while since I've put much thought into alternative graduate-type programs (like the writing MFA). I've heard that there are graduate programs in publishing, a fact which strikes me as fairly ridiculous. Would it be worth it to drop a few thousand dollars just to get a slight edge in a cut-throat industry?

It's beginning to feel more and more like I'm just taking a very long, roundabout road to a career in teaching. Those who can't wed plan, after all.

I wonder what my summer will be like. I had a good one last year--fun travels, lackadaisical days on the lake, summer movies, beach reading, drinking, romance (just kidding).

Last year. Long time ago. But not really. Where'd I go wrong? Any chance I'll do things right this year? If I was a religious man, I might be appealing to a higher power right now.

Just for fun, here's my rejection letter from the editor I interviewed with. (Do you think it's unreasonable to imagine that at least one main factor in my not getting the job was that I wasn't female? Also, I like the line about my "great career in publishing." I guess that just means that I look good on paper.)

Mike, thank you for your interest in XYZ and for coming in to interview with me. Although your credentials are impressive, we decided that another candidate was a better fit for the position here, and she just notified me on Friday that she'’s accepting my offer. Our HR department will keep your resume on file in the event that another position at XYZ becomes available in the future. You have a great career in publishing ahead of you and I wish you all the best.